2011. Where do I begin?

So much has happened this year. And in one sentence, I can accurately describe it all. It was crazy, it was tragic, sometimes almost magical, awful and oh-so-beautiful. I am supremely grateful for every single minute. Were there highs? Yes. Were there lows? Definitely. Did I smile? Did I cry? Did I make mistakes? Did I accomplish goals? The answer to all of these questions is yes.

Much of this past year is one big, gigantic blur for me. I pushed myself to one too many limits you see. I put far too many things on my daily todo list than I had time for in the day. Then, when I didn’t cross off every single one, I beat myself up. I put in far too many late nights, indulged in far too many takeout boxes, missed far too many workouts, and berated myself around the clock. I compared myself and my work to too many other people. I tried to be too many other people. I focused too much on the things I couldn’t control, and not enough on the things I could. I forgot to live in the moment. I forgot to love in the moment. And I berated myself some more.

And all of that was really, really exhausting. Being Superwoman, even trying to be, is not at all what it’s cracked up to be. So, please, don’t try this at home. Kidding. Sort of. I’ve been a perfectionist for much of my life. And if you’re like me, you’ll know how hard it’s going to be to just let that notion go. But I will. Because this next year, in the words of Emily Ley, I am going to hold myself to a standard of grace not perfection.

As I type these words, I am just now realizing what a difference a year makes. Last January, I was nowhere near ready for the things I’m ready for now. I’ve felt a huge shift in myself this year, both personally and professionally. My heart was cracked wide open in both arenas. And for a while, I wasn’t sure I would be able to pick up all the little pieces. Somehow I did, but boy, was it hard.

As I look back on the last 365 days, I realize those hard days were something I had to go through, to learn from, to grow through. They made me smarter. Stronger. They brought me to where I am today. They brought me to the really big realization that 2011 was my year of transition. It was the year that changed my world, my lifestyle, my love, my heart, me. It was the year that absolutely prepared me for all the amazingness that is to come. I’ve never felt more ready for anything before in my life.

2012 … I’ve been waiting for you.

This will be the year. My year. To do and be amazing. I will get up each day with the decision to be happy. I will be intentional with my time. I will be authentic in everything I do and say. I will open my heart to this very blog. I will not compare myself to anyone else. Each day, I will strive for excellence, not perfection. I will not be so damn hard on myself. I will applaud myself for my accomplishments. I will find something to be thankful for each day (even on the worst of ones). I will find balance and learn to breathe. I will be confident and doubt no more. I will focus more on the things I can control and less on the things I can’t. I will celebrate those who fill my cup, those who make my heart happy and those who make me want to be a better person. I will spend less and love more. So much more. I will make more time for the people that matter most. I will open my heart to every new opportunity. I will nurture and watch Heart Love Weddings grow. I will dream big and live even bigger.

This starts now.

My January Goals:

• Get to bed by 11pm every night.
• Work out 2-3 times a week for 30 min.
• Drink more water.
• Email web designer and programmer list of website + blog tweaks.
• Research a backup for the blog.
• Take Piper to puppy class. :)
• Start a thankful journal, write down one thing to be thankful for each day.
• Use my new Simplified Planner religiously. (It’s already helped me prepare so much for the new year.)
• Strive to answer emails within 24 hours of their arrival in my inbox. (Excluding weekends.)
• Check in and make February goals.

I would love to know how you will make this year better than the one before, if you have any January goals (not new year resolutions, goals for the month of January), how you plan to make amazing happen.

So much love, luck and a happy new year!

xoxoxo

*Grace Not Perfection | the best is yet to come