With the completion of the most popular time of getting engaged (from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day), it is now time to get down to some serious wedding planning. It’s time to get super excited about choosing style, colors, dresses, flowers and all the rest of the fun stuff. But it’s also a time that you will become frustrated, stressed, and also overwhelmed with all the well wishers and advice that seemingly comes from the most interesting sources. Everyone seems to have an opinion and there seems to be so much to consider. Well, we’re here to help. And we’re offering a fresh perspective and hopefully some new twists in the conventional wedding planning approach. We shared our first things first approach to wedding planning few weeks ago, and today we’re going to start breaking it down by tackling the first item on List #1: The Big Picture – Setting Your Date and Guest List.

via Millie Holloman Photography

First, here’s a couple of basic ground rules which you will need to get started:

• Breath, yes, take a deep cleansing breath. And keep taking deep breathes during your whole wedding planning process right up until you say “I do.” It really does help. Oprah says so.
• Relax. Everything will get done, all in good time.
• Pick your go-to people that are going to help you make decisions. Keep this group small. This group should include the bride, groom, parents, a best friend. Too many and things get really dicey, even ugly and disappointing. Trust me.

via Millie Holloman Photography

Next, let’s start planning a wedding – the first really big party that you will probably throw as a couple! As with any party, the first thing you do is set a date and create your guest list. Many think the budget is the very first thing you decide. Really? No. Have you ever planned a “party” and started out by saying “we are only going to spend x amount of dollars?” No. Why? Because you don’t know how many people will be coming. Isn’t the amount you’re going to spend directly related to the number of guests that will be available and can come on the date you choose? Say it with me, why yes, yes they are. Bingo, light bulb turns on.

Note: There are some that would disagree, that the first consideration is and should be the budget. We will get to that but after we’ve created the guest list and set the date. And after you’ve done some research. Going into wedding planning with your budget first will inevitably result in a lot of drama, arguments, dashed hopes, and lots of sobbing may ensue.

via Millie Holloman Photography

Now let’s get back to setting the date and your guest list. These two planning elements are uniquely intertwined. Why? Because you want the most important people in your life, the ones that love you and support you to be there on your wedding day. You don’t want to schedule your date when your best man is out of the country on business or when your parents are in the throes of working tax season (wink, wink).

{Setting the Date} Things to consider:

• Season – spring, summer, fall and winter. The season will also impact whether you will have an indoor or outdoor ceremony and/or reception.
• Destination  – consider if you will be traveling out of the country or in the US but out of your immediate locale.
• Vacation schedule – some couples may face restrictions due to conflicting work schedules, mandatory vacations times, deadlines and being able to get coverage whether you are employed by someone or even self employed.
• Once you’ve taken the above into consideration, now pick a date! Pick several. Yes, don’t get too attached to one date at the beginning of your planning. Very important. Why? Because the next step will be to start researching photographers, videographers and venues. There is no greater disappointment when you find the perfect photographer/videographer or the most gorgeous venue and your perfect, set in stone date is not available. Cue sound of a sad trombone and maybe even sobbing. Be flexible.