A picture is worth a thousand words . . .

One Photographer. One Snapshot. One Quote.

One-thousand words and emotions.

KISS.ME.

Photo by Meg Perotti via Style Me Pretty

Such a playful moment captured. Perfect way to kick off Fourth of July week, I think ;)

As a wedding blogger/editor and an avid social(media)ite, I can’t tell you how many times I hear that brides aren’t working with, listening to, or most importantly, trusting their vendors. Time and time again I hear that brides are asking too many questions, that they want too many of the same details as the bride before them, that they want to negotiate a fee or a service, that they come right out and demand things of their vendors. It breaks my heart to hear that these things happen. On the flip side however, I also hear that vendors aren’t working with or listening to their brides, that they show up late to meetings and run-throughs and in some cases the wedding(!!!), that brides and other vendors have a hard time getting in touch with them, that they’re irresponsible and not worth what they were paid. Again, my heart breaks. Each and every single time.

Katie of Dreamlove Wedding Photography stopping traffic to get the shot.

“STOP! In the name of love…“

There was some upheaval a few weeks back – an article resurfaced that suggested brides practice their negotiating skills at flea markets to be better able to negotiate with their wedding vendors – I won’t say who or where this article came from (those who know know), but oh my gahhh was it the start of something. Many wrote posts on how horrendous they thought this was and how insulted they as a vendor were. But nobody really broke down the here, now and why. That’s what I want to do today.

As a wedding blogger/editor, I have seen both ends of the spectrum and heard both sides of the same story. As a person in the in-between, I am writing this post today as a message to both brides and vendors on how to make the process of planning a wedding better. Please note that this entire post is my opinion, each may form and share their own.

Danielle Pasternak dealing with those darn hook-and-eyes. Photo by Daniel Moyer Photography

Asking Questions -

• Brides: There is NOTHING wrong with asking questions of your vendors. Let me repeat that in case you missed it the first time: there is NOTHING wrong with asking questions of your vendors. In fact, I’d be worried if you didn’t ask questions, because you should be throughout the planning process. Questions are a good thing. There is no such thing as a stupid question.
• Vendors: There are NO stupid questions. Please remember that not all brides are going to be well-versed in the world of weddings. They don’t know it all. Please refrain from getting frustrated with them and complaining about it on social media. It’s a mega turn off to ALL. I know you have probably heard the question a hundred and one times, but remember, that this is their first and hopefully only time. Please remember that you too asked a lot of questions when you got started.
• Brides: You pick up the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings and see a real wedding featured that has signature cocktails in mason jars, chalkboard signs with catchy phrases, a candy buffet in apothecary jars, and a photobooth with fun props (i.e. giant lips, mustaches and funky glasses). Way cool! You love mason jars! And you could think of some catchy phrases to write on chalkboards! And those apothecary jars would come cheap at places like Home Goods and Pier 1. And, oh! Wouldn’t a photobooth be great fun?! It’s YOUR day. If these are the details YOU want, get them, book them, do it up! I would hope and pray that you’re choosing these things because you love them, that they represent your love story in some way, not because you think it’s trendy and will get your wedding published.
• Vendors: There are NO overdone details. Please remember that not all brides are going to be well-versed in the world of weddings. They don’t fully realize just how many weddings we’ve seen with hay bales and bunting and mason jars and crazy photobooth props galore. Please refrain from getting frustrated with them and complaining about it on social media. It’s a mega turn off to ALL. I know you’ve heard the bride’s vision for bunting and mason jars a hundred and one times before, but this is their first and hopefully only time. Remember that. And remember also, that you too once thought mason jars were fabulous.

Jamie and Stephanie of Viva L’Event getting their groove on with the DJs. Photo by f8 Studio

• Brides: You should be asking questions of the vendors you are interested in working with on their packages/services and fees – especially if this information is not readily available on their website. Please also be honest with these vendors. Let them know of any budgetary, scheduling or other limitations and/or concerns. Explain where you are in the planning process and that you may still be shopping around. They will appreciate it. I promise.
• Vendors: As a blogger and a hopeful, someday bride, it is incredibly frustrating for me to not find your packaging and pricing information on your sites. I get that you don’t want to “spill the beans” to other like vendors, you have fancy material that explains and details everything that you like to send to potentially interested brides. I get it. I’m not saying you have to “bare it all” on your site, but a general idea or a ballpark would be super helpful. How many times have you gotten an inquiry that asks how much you charge in one sentence and the next tells you they have a budget limitation? A lot of these could be circumvented if the information was easily accessible to brides. And while we’re on the subject of what-information-you-should-have-on-your-website, please put your phone number and EMAIL on your contact page, not just your contact form. If you haven’t done so already… Go. Do it now. Thank you :)
• Vendors: On this same note, answer your emails!!! If I as an editor (or another vendor) can’t get a hold of you, how are your brides?!?! It concerns me greatly when I hear that brides and vendors alike go weeks without hearing (back) from their vendors. These people (who are your most important advocates when it comes to referrals) will lose confidence that you have their best interest at heart. So answer those emails, timely and effectively. Please and thank you kindly, once again :)
• The bottom line is this, asking questions is a GOOD thing. Brides should be asking them. Vendors should be expecting them and thus, answering them completely and effectively. Period.

KimJMartin moving in for a closeup.

Negotiating:

• Vendors: I hate to break it to you all but negotiating with others has been around for eons. It doesn’t just arise in the wedding industry but ALL industries, so don’t think you’re being singled out. In our instance, the reason negotiating came about is because one vendor negotiated with a bride over price or performance. Once it happened that one time, it created what’s known as the domino effect. It takes just once for word to get out that this was happening, that this was ok. Now, before you go picking up your pitchforks, we have no way of knowing who or when this occurred. But it did. It became the thing to do. Like a habit, it’s hard to stop.
• Vendors: Want to know where today’s brides are getting the idea that it’s ok to negotiate with you? Previous generations. Their moms, grandmothers, aunts, even great-grandmothers. It’s what they did 30, 40, even 50 years ago. They don’t realize that that is not how things are done anymore. They only remember what they did and are giving advice based off of their own previous experiences. They don’t realize that it’s insulting to the vendor. And it is OUR job as wedding PROFESSIONALS to teach them, show them a new and better way, and break them of that awful habit.

Sam Liang getting the bridal portraits in.

• Brides: Negotiating is not done anymore. You cannot expect to go to your cake tasting with a picture of an AMAZING cake with a Cadillac-like price tag and ask them to replicate it on your budget of $300. It’s just not possible and frankly, it’s rude. When it comes to the designing and making of your wedding cake, there are a lot of steps like designing, baking, assembling, frosting, decorating, storing, delivering. And this goes for other vendors too like your florist, your wedding planner, your photographer, and more.
• Brides: When you are looking for vendors to help make your day beautiful and all that it can be, remember that you get what you pay for. Hiring a photographer for $500 (or nothing at all – Uncle Charlie has a camera too, you know) is not going to get you a Jasmine Star or Katelyn James finished product. Chances are that photographer isn’t all that good and you will probably be very disappointed in the end result. Remember that when you shell out $4000 for your wedding photographer. You are paying them to have your back, for their craft and expertise, to ensure that the most precious moments of your day get captured. If that is not of importance to you, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. But please don’t ask for them to lower their price. Doing so is like asking them to dumb down their talent. Believe me, you wouldn’t like it if it was done to you.

Tara of TADA Makeup + Weddings getting her makeup on. Photo by Parmar Photo

• Vendors: If you happen to be one of the “lucky” ones and have a bride show you a picture of a cake with a Cadillac-like price tag and only a budget of $300 to spend, it is also your job to provide that bride with options. So the Cadillac-like-cake isn’t on the menu. But what could you offer her (that will be on budget) instead?
• Brides: If your vendor isn’t upfront about providing you with options for what they can do for you on your budget, ask questions. If you’re still not getting anywhere, it’s time to shop for another vendor.

Bottom line? You want gorgeous florals, an amazing cake, over-the-top dress, incredible photography, somebody to plan your wedding perfectly? You are going to have to pay for it. Period. End of story. You will get what you pay for whether it’s from a high end vendor or not so high end vendor. It’s your choice. My advice: Choose who you want, what you want, how you want. Trust the vendors you choose. You don’t need to remind your wedding planner to be sure the flower girl and ring bearer know where to go after walking down the aisle or to check if your veil is on straight, trust me, she’s been there and done that. You are trusting your vendors with the most important day of your life. Allow them to have your back, to do their job. If they are good at what they do, they will come through.

Rhiannon of Hey Gorgeous Events helping the bride get her veil on. Photo by Julie Harmsen

Demanding:

• Brides: Hello, Bridezilla. This is just wrong on so many levels. Don’t do it. Ok? :)
• Vendors: Unfortunately, there are very demanding people in this world. If they do it to you, chances are they do it to everyone. Is it right? Absolutely not! But it happens. (In fact, television shows like Bridezilla encourages it! Ew.) You will have to be the bigger person in all of it. But by all means, please envision smashing cake into her face repeatedly, and in private.

Bottom line: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it all (or at least not out loud or on the internet).

Jillian McGrath flat on her back in the snow getting-r-done.

Welp! That was a BEAST of a post. Did you learn anything? Do you have a rebuttal? An addition? Another opinion? Please be kind. Remember that we are all entitled to our own opinions. I think I raised a few valid points. And would love to hear yours.

**Special thanks to the vendors who submitted photos of them doing what they do best, and to the others for letting me borrow them. Please note that their views are not expressed within this post. Just my own.**

Sometimes there is nothing better or more beautiful than a simple, classic, elegant wedding in a setting that is very much like home. It’s not ostentatious or overdone, flashing with colors, or overflowing with details and decor. Sometimes all it really takes is a few well-placed, heartfelt and pretty details, surrounded by family and close friends, coming together to celebrate the love of the happy bride and her smitten groom. Such a wedding was captured in the most beautiful of ways by Kate Preftakes Photography. I am honored to share it with you today along with, at the request of the bride, their love story and wedding details in her own words. Enjoy!

C and M met because the woman C was supposed to meet on that dark and frigid night in February had canceled. New York City’s subways were flooded as a series of atypical weather events – heavy rainstorms, interspersed with ice storms and heavy snows in early 2010 wreaked havoc across the Northeast. The rain event was what caused M to become the recipient of the orphaned ticket to a local blues concert at the invitation of a close friend. Little did M know that by accepting her invitation to “come out to dinner and a show with us – and, oh, by the way, there will be this guy there from Germany” that M’s life would take a different course than the one she had carefully charted.

When she walked into a popular Mexican restaurant that evening, she instantly knew that the man to whom she was just introduced would become her husband. She casually asked why he was in New Hampshire, of all the places one could possibly end up in in the US. He replied that he’d bought a 1700s Georgian style home in the state and was renovating it as “his place in the country.”

Fast forward a year, and C and M were sitting in a former five-star Spanish château dining room in Carmona, Spain while on holiday. The food was made with local ingredients by an MIT educated engineer turned handy-man, château manager and chef extraordinaire. It was a magnificent meal and it was also the night that C proposed.

The food they had that night inspired a splendid five-course wedding reception dinner, designed and prepared by the talented Peter Varkonyi at Home Hill Inn in Plainfield, New Hampshire. The locations C and M had visited while in Spain were represented in the themes of the tables as well as became the overall inspiration for a Spanish infused-New York City Tavern-on-the-Green-style cocktail and dinner party.

In planning their wedding, having it in New Hampshire was a “no-brainer”. Home Hill Inn was a place C had taken M out to dinner a few times and was where he had stayed while the renovation ensued of what would soon become “their” home. The Inn has a well-maintained patina and softness to it, as places with such age and history gain over time, and, representative of its name, “it felt like home” to both of them. Plus, it was conveniently located in the middle for 99% of their guests as most had a drive or a flight of 7 hours or more.

Their wedding not only joined two people and two families, but also two cultures. They used English and German on the Save-the-Dates, the invitations, and the program as well as in the ceremony itself. They were married between two Linden trees overlooking a grassy pasture by the Pastor of a local Unitarian church whom the couple had met the previous Christmas. Coincidentally, she also spoke German. She conducted the ceremony in both languages and C and M exchanged vows in both as well, thus including everyone in the moment of their union.

C and M, staying true to their own simplistic and classical styles, didn’t go for a crazy theme, party favors or matching colors. Nor did they have a wedding party – it was just them – and, typical of German “church” weddings, they also walked themselves down the outdoor “isle”. They relied on the beauty of the surrounding landscape, the architecture of the Inn, the angled lighting of an early September day, wonderfully composed flower arrangements and simple, but timeless, table settings to craft a wonderful celebration focused around the energy generated by the magical combination of good music, good food, good drink, and close friends and family.

Magical combination indeed! I love this wedding and all of it’s elegant simplicity, that they chose a place that felt like “home”, that they joined two cultures as well as families and conducted their ceremony in both German and English, and created that special Spanish infused-New York City Tavern-on-the-Green-style reception that was a perfect reflection of their love story. Thank you, M, for sharing your words with all of us today. We wish you and C so much love and luck in your beautiful home for years to come! And thank you, also, to Kate Preftakes for not only capturing their very special day so beautifully, but for passing it along for us to share today! xoxo

We always get a little excited about this time of month because we love to share what some special people are doing to make weddings sparkle and shine. The talented wedding pros that we feature are so talented, and they would love to help you make your day the best it can be!

Save the dates and wedding invitations are some of the first impressions that your guests will see to get a peak at your wedding. Make them fun, classy, traditional or whimsical, but first and foremost make them you, and we have just the fabulous people to recommend! When you’re planning, wedding budgets can be tight, but both Simply Designed and Blush Printables are making it just a little bit easier. Blush Printables is offering a special coupon code for our readers and Simply Designed has got a code (DIYFB20) for their new DIY line. Go check them out now! :)

Simply Designed (New Save the Dates like the one above are now available in their Etsy Store)

Blush Printables (this Southwest Chevron Wedding Inspiration Set now available on Etsy)

When it comes to wedding planning you couldn’t ask for better pros to be helping you out than Danielle Pasternak Wedding Coordinator and Viva L’Event. Danielle always has fabulous tips to share on her blog. Her latest one on final payments for your vendors includes a free download! And be sure to stop by Viva L’Event’s blog for some of their latest inspirations. Looking for something really personal for your wedding? Then look no further than a beautiful wedding canopy from Olam Wedding Canopies. These special pieces are truly a work of art!

Viva L’Event | Photo by Macon Photography

Danielle Pasternak Wedding Coordinator | Photo by Kim Winey

Olam Wedding Canopies

Are you a sparkly kind of gal? Want to really feel like Cinderella on your wedding day? Then you need to check out some of the new fabulous pieces (both hair and jewelry pieces) from Happily Ever BorroWED. I guarantee you will fall in love! And after you’ve found that perfect sparkly something for your hair, Tara from TADA Makeup + Weddings can’t wait to make you look gorgeous wearing it!

Happily Ever BorroWED

TADA Makeup & Weddings

We think having the right photographer for your wedding day is extremely important and that is why we are in love with the fabulous pros that are part of our Vendor Boutique. Not only will they capture all the special moments of your day but they have a knack to capture your love story as well. Wedding season is in full swing for our photographers so please be sure to check out their personal blogs for lots of additional inspiration. They sure are rockin’ it! Britt Croft Photography shares some special, personal insight into planning her own wedding and Live View Studios just posted some awesome weddings that they have just completed. Christi Falls Photography and Jillian McGrath Photography have also been very busy capturing all kinds of awesomeness. Studio 516 Photography is now specializing in intimate and elopement weddings and has added some fun inspiration for wedding attire for these special occasions. And Katherine Henry Boudoir is now offering Thursday Evening Boudoir Parties – you know you want to have one! :)

Britt Croft Photography

Live View Studios

Christi Falls Photography

Jillian McGrath Photography

Studio 516 Photography

Katherine Henry Boudoir

Looking for more information on these fabulous vendors, please visit the Vendor Boutique and check out the beautiful inspiration boards that we feature for each of our fabulous vendors! Don’t forget to check out their websites and blogs too! :) xoxo

If you are interested in joining the Heart Love Weddings family and Vendor Boutique, click over to our Advertising page and fill out the new form. We’ll be in touch with our brand spankin’ new media kit within 24 hours! Have questions? Email karin at heartloveweddings dot com.

We know that for most of us the warm summer weather is finally here – yay! And you know what that means – lots and lots of weddings as well as ones being planned for next summer! Our wedding inspiration board today combines some of the warm tones of summer, peach and soft sand, plus well worn pastel blues, giving our board just a little bit of a vintage vibe.

Our bride, with her strawberry blonde up-do and her beautiful blue eyes, makes me so jealous that I am not a red head or at least sport something close to this gorgeous color for my hair. Did you know that I just love red heads? Well, now you do. :) Ring shots are truly some of my most favorite in wedding photography. We couldn’t believe how well the blue script on the invite enhanced the blues that we had selected as well as how the gold band even reflects the peach hues. What a gorgeous emerald cut ring, don’t you think?

Now, on to the vintage touches! It never ceases to amaze me how a simple touch of ribbon and a stripy straw can enhance a mason jar taking it from ordinary to extraordinary. One thing that I love about vintage decor is truly the unique ways that various pieces can be used to add details to a wedding. Never in a million years would I have thought to put cake pops onto this scale but it so does work, don’t you think? Now that’s inspiring! And can I just tell you how much I love, love, love hand stamped vintage silverware. This piece happens to be one of my favorites! Isn’t the little mason jar filled with hearts absolutely adorable? A jar filled with love! Finally, our centerpieces combine each and every one of the colors from our palette – peach, soft sand and vintage blues. Perfect!

Happy Wednesday!

xoxo

Row 1: Bride via Bridal Musings via Twigs and Honey | Ring Shot captured by KT Merry via Inspired by This | Peachy Mason Jars styled by A Vintage Affair Rentals captured by Lola Elise via Grey Likes Weddings

Row 2: Cake Pops & Scale captured by Lane Dittoe via Wedding Chicks | Anniversary Spoon via Jessica N Designs | Floral Centerpiece via Inspired by This

Colors: Caribbean Blue, Pale Blue, Summer Peach, Soft Sand