Details, details – it’s all in the details, people!! We keep hearing it over and over again when planning a wedding. Some people (brides and professionals alike) can talk about and debate the importance of details ad nauseam. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE details right along with the best of them. It is one of the reasons why you seek out our blog as well as others, and even print magazines. And to be perfectly honest, if it weren’t for some amazing details and inspiration, there really would not be the need for wedding blogs or wedding magazines for you to peruse.
However, how important are these details? Will they make or break a wedding? Are they even necessary? How much is too much? Do they really reflect you as a couple and your love story? These are some of the questions that we often debate. We hear how stressful the selection of just the right detail places on a bride. We hear from brides about the coordination of details, the cost, and DIY or not to DIY. And we also read about how wedding professionals are even being criticized or ostracized because the weddings they have coordinated or the photos they’ve captured don’t have enough details.
So today we’re going to tackle that sometimes rocky, precarious, sensitive, always beautiful road to helping you decide how and why details will make your wedding personal and totally you!
I’m first going to give you the definition of detail as listed by the dictionary.
[n. Dih-tehl, dee-teyl]
- An individual or minute part; an item or particular.
- Particulars collectively.
- Intricate, finely wrought decoration.
And then there are the details as defined by a bride and/or wedding planner which vary from invitations, bouquets, bridal accessories, decor, venue, food, centerpieces, linens, tuxes, shoes – oh my! Breathe…
And now we’d like to offer our definition of details:
It’s whatever the heck you want it to be!
Were you expecting something really deep and profound? Maybe elegant and full of emotion? A beautiful, inspiring paragraph filled with adjectives? No, we thought we’d step a little out of the box and our comfort zone. A little on the wild side by making such a bold statement. And now we’re going to go into a little more detail. Ha!
First off, wedding details should not create or cause stress. Not for you (as the bride and groom), your family, bridal party and even vendors that you work with. How can wedding details cause you stress? For starters, DIY details. We do not believe that you should become the next Martha Stewart wedding craft diva if you don’t know what a glue gun is or does. You should not be pressing your florist to get lily of the valley for your bouquet in the middle of January in Minnesota. I don’t care how much you are willing to pay for them. They are not available – you should have gotten married in April or May. :)
Next, details should not cost you an arm and a leg. Unless of course, you are Kim Kardashian and have a boatload of money and want to single handedly jumpstart the sluggish economy. Let’s keep the cost factor under control and in perspective. While it is a special day, in fact, your special day, it will only last a few hours after all. Did you fall in love with a drop-dead gorgeous Cinderella ball gown of a wedding dress with a Maserati price tag but can only afford a nice, used VW Beetle version? Then consider a simpler, less expensive dress and jazz it up with some pretty sparkly accessories that you can either purchase or even better rent. (Have you met our friends at Happily Ever BorroWED?)
Details should also not be the center of attention at your wedding or overwhelm it in anyway. You want eye candy, but you want it to complement your overall style, theme, and/or love story. You want details that are classy and pretty. You do not want kitschy, cheap or tawdry. You should not have so many details including decor, venues and activities that will have your quests so preoccupied that they in fact forget why they are all gathered – for you, your groom, your celebration of love, your wedding.
From our perspective, details should be adding the pretty to your wedding. The pretty is both for your benefit as well as your guests. It can be simple, something bold and in your face or understated and in a place that only you and your groom knows about. :) Details at a wedding are the little things that will make you, as the bride, feel and look pretty, invoke emotion or sentiment even for the groom. For the bridal party, it’s a sweet note of appreciation or a meaningful gift. Guests at your wedding will appreciate comfortable seating, great food and fun entertainment. These are some of the simple details (yes, these are details and they are simple) that will create a memorable celebration for you and your guests. It is not necessary to go overboard.
To us, details are also the things that can take a wedding from ho-hum to breathtaking, even with the simplest of touches. This is best evidenced when looking at wedding photos, and that is why you will look at blogs and magazines to be inspired by not only the details but breathtaking photos of a bride and groom in love. That is not to say that you are looking for lots of “details” in the photographs. What you are looking for is a photographer that will not only capture details, but the emotions that will make you say awwww or wowzer when first you see your wedding pictures, and each and every time you see your photos after that, even twenty years from now. There are many times that we ooooo and ahhhhh over a wedding photograph and realize that there are actually no details. But it is the raw emotion, it is the spectacular scenery and blue sky in the background, it is the experienced eye of a photographer who has captured the moment – these are the details to be remembered. It is why we feel so strongly about the quality of your photographer. You want someone that is able to capture not only the pretty details but will capture your love without the details.
A perfect example of capturing pure magic! Leaves me breathless!
So, do you still want to fuss about details? Yes, of course, you do! However, we want you to keep them under control. We hate to see you get so stressed about them that you forget why you are taking so much time to coordinate what will surely be, for many of you, the biggest event in your life! Don’t get so caught up in the pressures of planning all the details! Make it pretty and magical, but keep it simple and doable. Remember, why this day is happening in the first place. It’s not about the cake or the dress or the flowers. It’s your story, your love, your wedding being celebrated.
Remember, when you look at your wedding photos, whether next year or 10 years from now, it will not be the details that you are looking to revisit, it will be pictures of you, family and friends, and the stories and memories that will be shared when you open that wedding album time and time again.
We’d love to hear your thoughts about details at weddings! Love them, hate them, are you so-so about them? How much is too much? What is the most memorable detail to you? At your wedding? At somebody else’s? Where are you placing your priorities? We’d love to know below!