I honestly cannot believe that I am staring May 11th (almost the middle of the month) in the face already. I don’t know what happened to the month of April or even what I did during it. Clearly that’s not true. Otherwise I wouldn’t have crossed off all of these things on my April Goals list.

I purchased the books Rework, The Happiness Project, Boundaries and The Five Love Languages. I (with the help of Doodle Dog Creative) launched and announced the updates to our Vendor Boutique to our wonderful vendors. It will all be announced to the rest of you soon :) I drove into Boston to spend a fabulous afternoon with Katherine Henry who took the fabulous new photos of me you’ll start to see throughout the blog (and everywhere else). I updated our submission guidelines to Two Bright Lights (because I hadn’t yet) and I cleaned out my address book (because it required it). I also booked my plane ticket to Florida for VACATION.

Every year for as long as I can remember and even before that, I have gone on a two-week vacation with my family to Captiva, Florida, where my family has a timeshare on the beautiful South Seas Island Resort. It has always and probably will always be my home away from home.

I haven’t really been able to enjoy it much in recent years though. Two years ago, I didn’t go. I can’t remember why. Work maybe? Last year, while I went, I spent about 95% of my time working (and fighting to get an internet connection) and only about 5% soaking up the sun on the beach or by the pool. Why? Because we were in the final (and most critical) stages of the design for the new Heart Love Weddings that launched just a few days after I returned. Needless to say, I spent most of my “vacation” last year on my laptop than I did on the beach. It’s shameful, I know. Which is why, this year, I will be dedicating 95% of my time to the beach and only 5% to my laptop.

Here’s how things are going to run:

I will be working my butt off from now until Thursday, May 24th. On that day, at 4PM, vacation auto-responders (for email) will go up, the iMac will be shut down for the first time in I don’t know how long, and I will take the pups to doggy daycare. Tears will more than likely be shed by us all. On Friday, I am on the first flight outta here!!! There will be a fun, personal post on this day, so be sure to be on the lookout for that!!

The post schedule for the following two weeks (Friday 5/25 – Friday 6/8) will be as follows:

• 5/25 – What’s In My Suitcase
• 5/26 – Saturday Snapshot
• 5/28 – NO POST
• 5/29 – NO POST
• 5/30 – Inspiration Board
• 5/31 – NO POST
• 6/1 – June Goals
• 6/2 – Saturday Snapshot
• 6/4 – Biggest Hits – Love Story Recap
• 6/5 – Biggest Hits – Tips & Inspiration Recap
• 6/6 – Inspiration Board
• 6/7 – NO POST
• 6/8 – NO POST
• 6/9 – Saturday Snapshot

You’ll notice that in the two weeks that I’ll be gone, there are no real wedding or engagement session features. I did this on purpose. When I feature a photographer’s work, I want to give it my utmost attention all day long, and since I won’t be able to do that, I’m making a conscious decision to not have those particular features shared while I’m gone. They will once again resume on Monday, June 11th. You’ll also notice there are a couple of days sprinkled throughout the 14 days that will NOT have a post. This is to prove to myself (as many people have said) that the world will not end because I don’t blog. I can neither confirm nor deny that I actually believe this to be true.

Out of all my May Goals, I am most excited for this vacation. As I mentioned before, this is my first “true” vacation in two years and I need it. But more than that I deserve it. It’s taken me a while to actually say those words out loud. I am a workaholic and a perfectionist (you do the math). I eat, sleep, and breathe weddings, and this blog, and everything that goes along with them. It is because of this that I need a break. I’m not saying that I’m burned out. What I’m saying is that working your butt off to achieve your goals and make your dreams comes true is just as important as taking a step back and finding a state of rest and relaxation. It’s going to be really, really, really hard to step away from my computer and iPhone, but I also know it’s going to worth it. Because I know that when you shut down the part of your brain that works the hardest, allow it the rest it deserves, you will be more inspired than ever when you finally turn it back on. I can almost guarantee that I’ll be brainstorming away by day three ;)

Other May Goals I’m psyched about? Finally starting, doing, and COMPLETING Lara Casey’s The Challenge!!! I’ve read through it about a millions times but have never “had the time” to do it. Well, I’m not using time as an excuse anymore, or coming up with any other excuse for that matter. I have a printed copy on my desk and I AM DOING IT. I’m excited to finally get through a fairly large stack of books (see the list above) that I have been steadily collecting for months now. And finally, I am really happy to be (already) following through on a goal that a sweet friend and Making Things Happen alum suggested in our private Facebook Group. Last month, she randomly decided to start speaking great things over herself. Many of us, I’m sure, have fallen into the trap of saying “I’m not ________ enough” or “I can’t do ________”. So, instead of continuing on in this way, Amy began inserting positives into those statements. Every day she’d tell herself “I can…” or “I am…” even if she didn’t believe it at the time. She posted this idea on her blog too, and on May 1st (because I have a thing about starting new goals on the first of somethings), I started speaking beautiful, confident, inspiring, motivating things over myself. And you know what, it has already made a world of a difference. I highly recommend reading her post and trying this for yourself. Every time you feel yourself about to say something negative about yourself, insert a positive. You’ll be surprise what a difference it really makes.

That’s all for now, friends. If you made it to the end of this goals post, I applaud you :) and I’d love for you to share your thoughts, your dreams, your goals in the comments below! xoxoxo

Holy schmoly, it’s April! How’d that happen?! Good thing I conquered almost all of my March Goals, otherwise I’d have nothing to report back with. Just kidding. But I really did do an awesome job this past month. Did I get everything done? No. Did I stick to all of my daily goals? No. Did I feel like I failed? On more than one occasion. But at least it was one less occasion than the month before. And, that, my friends, is progress.

As you can see from the photo above, I was a busy little bee in March. I reevaluated my mega to do list. It’s still large and in charge but it’s more organized and prioritized now, which is hugely helpful. I did things that have been on that list and on my mind for forever now. Like upgrade my iMac and MacBook Pro to OS X Lion, update my email signatures and auto-responders, research and place orders for new brand boosters, and brand all print material and documents. Boy, did it feel good to cross those things off not just the March Goals list, but the mega to do list too. I also did things that weren’t on the list like have Matt help me build a display for my spools of Divine Twine and completely clean out my office (inspired by this post by Katelyn James). I also became completely obsessed with Martha Stewart’s new office supply line at Staples. Have you seen it? No? You must. I went three times in as many days because I found even more uses for even more things. No, really, I did.

There were some things though that I either didn’t have time for, didn’t finish, or didn’t adhere to every day. Like my office hours. I set them. They’re 9a-6p. But I didn’t stick to them every day. And while most days I did really well answering emails from 430p-6p, I didn’t always. So those goals will continue on into next month and the month after that and the month after that until they’re no longer goals, but automatics. Why? Because drinking more water shouldn’t be a goal, it should be automatic. And you know what else? The days I did stick to working hours of 9a-6p were GREAT. I worked harder and more intentionally because I knew at 6 I was going to walk away from everything work related. It was hard but I did do it. Twice. Next month, I shoot for two more times. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

What I’m really proud of this month, was persevering through some updates to the site. I was SO STUCK when it came to the updates for the submissions and advertising pages, never mind the media kit. I wrote each of those things on my daily todo lists for DAYS. Each day, I pushed it further and further down the list. It was scary. I don’t really know why because when I finally forced myself to sit down and brainstorm them out, it really wasn’t that bad. We now have beautiful new submissions and advertising pages on the site with updated information and a fillable form for vendors on the advertising page. Our love story questionnaire is also now available online in a fillable form for brides (accessible through our submissions page), which hopefully means I don’t have to go tracking them down quite so hard. (Thank you Doodle Dog Creative for making everything so pretty and tech-friendly. :)) We also have a brand spankin’ new media kit in the works. We discovered that our original one, while beautiful, was a HUGE file and people weren’t receiving them. Not good. We’re fixing that. And it’ll still be beautiful, but smaller, more concise, with updates.

What I’m really not proud of at all this month is my continuing battle with comparison. I’ve been raging war with that awful c word for MONTHS now. I’ve seen/read a lot of people dealing with the same thing. So I know I’m not alone when I compare myself to every Sally, Sue and Rosemary out there. Her blog is prettier than mine, they have more likes on Facebook, more followers on Twitter, on Pinterest, on Instagram (really? Instagram? Oy!), they get more comments than I do. This constant comparison thing that I do is EXHAUSTING. I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I know that on the days I really focus on what I’m doing, my business, my blog, my brand, my heart, I soar. The days I don’t, I plummet. I want more of those soaring days. Because I deserve it. Because I’ve come an ASTRONOMICALLY long way. Am I exactly in the place where I want to be? Not yet. But I’m one step closer. And next month I’ll be one step closer still. And that is something. Doubling our readership from the last quarter of 2011 to the first quarter of 2012 is something. It’s HUGE! And I don’t give myself enough credit for how far I have come, which is actually a lot farther than I originally thought. I’ll bet that if you look at where you came from to where you are now, you might surprise yourself. Just like I did.

This month’s goals will be based on perseverance, progress and raging the war AGAINST comparison! Who’s with me?

Does anyone else battle comparison? What steps are you taking to get away from it? Will you focus on you, your business, your brand, your heart this month like me? What are your goals for April? I’d love to hear them and cheer you on! xoxo

At the beginning of this year, I wrote about all the ways in which I wanted this year to go. How 2012 was MY YEAR. I had big ideas, bigger dreams, a list of goals, boundaries in place and so much more. Then, on January 1st, I came down with the flu, and on top of that, a cold. I’m even an over-achiever when I get sick. Nice. For the next 3 weeks, I was sick as a dog. I got the bare minimum done each day and then crawled back into bed. All my goals and boundaries that I’d worked so hard to set for this year went.out.the.window. And what did I do the moment I started to feel better and every day since? I.beat.myself.up. One of the things I said I wouldn’t do this year – be so hard on myself. But I was. I worked all hours trying desperately to get caught up. Adding to my daily to-do list and to my mega to-do list seeming at every turn. As I sit here typing this, I’m exhausted just thinking about that list. The other day I tweeted: “There just never seems to be enough time in an hour, a day, a week, a month… So many things I want to do. I need another me.” True.story.

When I posted my January Monthly Goals, one of the bullet points was to check in and make goals for the month of February. That never happened. I made them. I wrote them down. But I never posted them here. I was too busy trying to catch up and get ahead (ha!). Part of me was also slightly fearful that no one would care if I wrote them here. But I care and that’s enough for me to post today.

My Twitter pal, Jacin, posted a link on Facebook today of a post Lara Casey had put on the MTH tumblr a year ago. A post about boundaries – making them and sticking to them. It was like someone had doused me with a bucket of ice water. I used to have boundaries. No, really, I did. But somewhere along the way this last year, I lost sight of them. For weeks now, I’ve been saying this day did not go as I’d planned. I’ve tried to do too much and wound up not doing enough. I’ve been going to bed at 12, 1 or 2 in the morning. I’ve been distracted. I am exhausted. I’ve been making mistakes. I’ve been writing posts too late at night. I’ve been answering emails too late in the day. I’ve been leaving loads of laundry in the dryer for a week, picking out what I needed instead of just folding the whole batch and putting it away. And every day I complained that things weren’t going well. Or right. Or the way I wanted them too. Or the way I thought they should. I was beginning to feel like everything was fighting me. Like the universe was fighting me. Well, if you’ve ever read The Secret (if you haven’t, you should), you’ll know that I was actually fighting the universe. Because, even though I know how I want things to go in my head, my actions haven’t been measuring up.

When I wrote my goals for January and February, I thought they were really good goals. And I did accomplish a bunch of them like taking Piper to puppy class (she has manners now, hallelujah!) and ordering new bathing suits for summer. Some goals were the same in both months. Mainly because I haven’t been consistent with them (like going to bed every night by 11pm) and I wanted to remind myself to do them because I feel better when I do. But I’m realizing that maybe my goals were a bit too broad. I need to break it down into baby steps and get back to basics. This month’s goals are going to be based around 3 things: boundaries, baby steps and getting back to basics.

At first glance, this looks like a lot. But it’s really not. I broke everything down into baby steps. I’m getting back to basics. I’m setting boundaries. And I don’t have to get all of these things done today. Nor was I planning to. (Is this actually me taking a piece of the pie instead of the whole pie? Eureka!) There are 31 days in March for me to accomplish these things. Some of which are actually really easy and should only take me 5 minutes (like updating my email signature). Some of these I can set to do in the background while I tackle something else (like finally updating to Mac OS X Lion). Reevaluating my mega todo list and prioritizing it is going to be HUGE. As is creating a standard daily todo list, adding the things I need to do the next day to it the night before, then prioritizing those things in the morning. Prioritizing my day is a MUST DO. No longer will I do blog posts at 11pm. No, I will not. The last thing on the list is probably my favorite. I will be setting dates for a vacation this month. Like “put-up-an-auto-email-responder-and-hop-on-a-plane-to-somewhere-warm-without-my-computer” vacation. Because I need it. I deserve it. So I will take it.

Here’s to boundaries, baby steps and getting back to basics!

Anyone with me on this?

xoxo

For months, I had been anxiously awaiting the release of The Vow (to which every preview gave me chills) starring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. I looove Rachel McAdams and honestly, what isn’t there to love about Channing Tatum? But I digress… I finally got to see the movie. And, at first, I was a little disappointed in the ending. It wasn’t the way it ended necessarily but the fact that it just ended. I wanted more. At least another seven minutes or so. Time enough for one more kiss… a look at their future… a happy ever after… something. And then it hit me. Happy ever after isn’t a one-shot-boom-your-done type of thing. (We can blame Walt Disney for sinking our teeth into that one.) A happy ever after is ongoing. It’s a continuing process.

There is this common misconception that after you meet someone, after you fall in love, after you get married, it’s happy ever after and the end. But it’s not, it’s not the end. Books, movies and Walt Disney have it all wrong. Meeting someone, falling in love, getting married, these are all incredibly happy moments, but they’re not your happy ever after. In fact, these moments are just the beginning. The beginning of your relationship, the beginning of your love, the beginning of your marriage and life together, in that order. Happy ever after isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. And watching Paige (McAdams) and Leo (Tatum) walk away arm-in-arm down the road together in the gently falling snow, I realized that. Because somehow, someway, despite the odds, they found their way back to each other. They received a second chance at their journey to happy ever after of happy ever after. (You see what I did there?)

Now, I want you to take a moment and think about your love. Whether you’re in a relationship, engaged or married. Think about your journey of happy ever after, your love story, the two phrases of which can now be used interchangeably I guess. Think about how you first met, your first date, your first kiss, your last. What if (and perish the thought) those memories were taken from you? What if you couldn’t remember that the person standing in front of you was your husband/wife? What if you couldn’t remember the details, the little and the big? What if you couldn’t remember your life together? What if?

The story of The Vow (and no, this is not a spoiler) revolves around a woman, whom after a horrific car accident cannot remember her husband, their marriage, their life together, the fact that she’s a vegetarian, or the last five years; and a man, determined to make his wife fall in love with him again.

I asked those scary questions above because memories are wonderful. But memories can also be taken from us in the most awful and unfair ways imaginable. Brain trauma, old age, dementia, amnesia, Alzheimer’s disease. There are so many ways in which memories can be ripped from your brain, from your heart. It’s awful and completely unfair, but it can happen.

What would you do if your memories were just gone? What if you couldn’t trust the people around you to tell you about them because you don’t know them? In the movie, Paige (McAdams) asks Leo (Tatum) if she kept a journal, to see proof of their life together. She didn’t. Too bad Paige didn’t have the foresight to write all of those important details down like Allie (also played by McAdams in The Notebook) did. But Allie knew her memories were going to fade, Paige had no way of knowing hers would just vanish one day.

All of the air left my lungs during that scene where she asks him about a journal. When I started this blog it was because I wanted to know what was behind the shared looks and soft smiles of every bride and groom. I wanted to know their love story. Every real wedding or engagement I feature, I ask the couple to fill out a love story questionnaire. Sometimes they come back to me fully detailed and many pages long. Other times I get bullet points. Sometimes I get an email from the bride that says oh, our love story is boring or  we don’t really have one. Hearing that breaks my heart. Because you do, you do have a love story. Every couple does. Whether you are a celebrity couple, or one of royalty with a fairytale love story like Will and Kate, or just your average Jane and Joe; your love story is great because it’s your own.

It’s why I do what I do. Weddings are not about the details. They are made up of details, which can be pretty amazing and insanely gorgeous, to which no wedding is complete without them. But weddings are about love. They have always been and always should be about two hearts becoming one, about the beginning of a life together, about taking that next step on the journey of happy ever after. It’s why I live to share the details of your love, of everything that led up to that very special day, and why I always will.

I encourage you now to do a couple of things.

First, I encourage you, either on your own or with your significant other, to write down your journey of happy ever after, your love story. Get a notebook and write down all of the details, the little and the big, that you can remember. It doesn’t have to be in chronological order (you’ll probably remember something one day that you didn’t remember the day before) and it doesn’t have to be all at once, but do it. Write down how you first met, what you did on your first date, how you felt after your first kiss. Write down how it feels to be in that person’s arms, going to sleep in and waking up in them. Write down all of the events (the big) and the moments (the little) that brought you to one of the happiest days of both of your lives. Write down how he proposed. Write about how you felt. Write down all of the details leading up to and everything about your wedding day. Write down the vows you read to each other that day (especially if you wrote them yourselves, which I HIGHLY recommend you do). Write down all of the things you want to remember in ten, twenty and fifty years from now.

I’m not saying to do this in case something awful and unfair happens, I’m saying do this because you owe it to yourself and your love to do so.

Second, I encourage you to continue that journal throughout your lives together. Remember, your happy ever after is a journey, not a destination. Your love story doesn’t end on your wedding day. So keep writing. All of the little and the big things, whatever they may be. In fifty years from now, I can almost guarantee you are going to love rereading those events, those moments, those memories of the two of you. Almost as much as you’ll love looking through the photographs of your life together, your wedding album. Almost as much as you’ll love sharing both of these things (your words and your photographs) with your children and your children’s children and so on.

Most of all though, I encourage you to never doubt your love, to never believe it ordinary. Your love story is extraordinary because it’s your own. Remember that yours is a once in a lifetime love. Remember that happy ever after isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. And it’s just beginning…

xoxo

*These are movie still from the original motion picture: The Vow (2012). Found here.

2011. Where do I begin?

So much has happened this year. And in one sentence, I can accurately describe it all. It was crazy, it was tragic, sometimes almost magical, awful and oh-so-beautiful. I am supremely grateful for every single minute. Were there highs? Yes. Were there lows? Definitely. Did I smile? Did I cry? Did I make mistakes? Did I accomplish goals? The answer to all of these questions is yes.

Much of this past year is one big, gigantic blur for me. I pushed myself to one too many limits you see. I put far too many things on my daily todo list than I had time for in the day. Then, when I didn’t cross off every single one, I beat myself up. I put in far too many late nights, indulged in far too many takeout boxes, missed far too many workouts, and berated myself around the clock. I compared myself and my work to too many other people. I tried to be too many other people. I focused too much on the things I couldn’t control, and not enough on the things I could. I forgot to live in the moment. I forgot to love in the moment. And I berated myself some more.

And all of that was really, really exhausting. Being Superwoman, even trying to be, is not at all what it’s cracked up to be. So, please, don’t try this at home. Kidding. Sort of. I’ve been a perfectionist for much of my life. And if you’re like me, you’ll know how hard it’s going to be to just let that notion go. But I will. Because this next year, in the words of Emily Ley, I am going to hold myself to a standard of grace not perfection.

As I type these words, I am just now realizing what a difference a year makes. Last January, I was nowhere near ready for the things I’m ready for now. I’ve felt a huge shift in myself this year, both personally and professionally. My heart was cracked wide open in both arenas. And for a while, I wasn’t sure I would be able to pick up all the little pieces. Somehow I did, but boy, was it hard.

As I look back on the last 365 days, I realize those hard days were something I had to go through, to learn from, to grow through. They made me smarter. Stronger. They brought me to where I am today. They brought me to the really big realization that 2011 was my year of transition. It was the year that changed my world, my lifestyle, my love, my heart, me. It was the year that absolutely prepared me for all the amazingness that is to come. I’ve never felt more ready for anything before in my life.

2012 … I’ve been waiting for you.

This will be the year. My year. To do and be amazing. I will get up each day with the decision to be happy. I will be intentional with my time. I will be authentic in everything I do and say. I will open my heart to this very blog. I will not compare myself to anyone else. Each day, I will strive for excellence, not perfection. I will not be so damn hard on myself. I will applaud myself for my accomplishments. I will find something to be thankful for each day (even on the worst of ones). I will find balance and learn to breathe. I will be confident and doubt no more. I will focus more on the things I can control and less on the things I can’t. I will celebrate those who fill my cup, those who make my heart happy and those who make me want to be a better person. I will spend less and love more. So much more. I will make more time for the people that matter most. I will open my heart to every new opportunity. I will nurture and watch Heart Love Weddings grow. I will dream big and live even bigger.

This starts now.

My January Goals:

• Get to bed by 11pm every night.
• Work out 2-3 times a week for 30 min.
• Drink more water.
• Email web designer and programmer list of website + blog tweaks.
• Research a backup for the blog.
• Take Piper to puppy class. :)
• Start a thankful journal, write down one thing to be thankful for each day.
• Use my new Simplified Planner religiously. (It’s already helped me prepare so much for the new year.)
• Strive to answer emails within 24 hours of their arrival in my inbox. (Excluding weekends.)
• Check in and make February goals.

I would love to know how you will make this year better than the one before, if you have any January goals (not new year resolutions, goals for the month of January), how you plan to make amazing happen.

So much love, luck and a happy new year!

xoxoxo

*Grace Not Perfection | the best is yet to come

What a wedding is and what a wedding needs are two very different things. What is a wedding you ask? Simply put, a wedding is love. No other day is entirely devoted to two hearts becoming one. (That only happens once you know.) So what then, does a wedding need? Besides a wildly in love bride and groom, a wedding, of course, needs details! Simple or lavish, romantic or glamorous, rustic or vintage, the cake, the colors, the flowers, the dress .. details, details, details! We featured some truly amazing weddings (and love stories) this year with oh-so-gorgeous details! We’ve rounded up the most memorable below! See. Swoon. Sigh. Enjoy.

{Yellow, Gray & White Southern Wedding} Where do I even begin with the wedding I mainly refer to as “the one with happy bride”? The flowers, the dress, the amazing ring shot, ceremony decor, lemony cocktails and stripe-y straws .. so yellow, so very, very happy! from Shannon Kelley Photography

{Blue & Green Tennessee Wedding} Fabulous sapphire bridesmaids dresses, luscious bouquets and a rose strewn aisle that will have you swooning in your seat! from The Collection

{Gray, White & Green Destination Beach Wedding} It’s easy to be smitten by a rustic-y wedding sign, beach-y locale, handmade bouquets, J.Crew bridesmaids dresses and local honey favors! from Ashley Daniell Photography

{Romantic Blue & White Beach Wedding} Romance and elegance are at an all time high in this beach fete! A ceremony by the ocean, seashells and sparkles galore only add to the charm of it all! from Blue Lane Studios

{Classic Vintage Garden Wedding} Blush pink bridesmaids dresses, mossy letters, ribbon streamers, a cake stand handmade by the groom, a sweet shoppe .. So this is what dreams are made of! from Imago Vita Photography

{Cream & Green Rustic Wedding} Limes, coffee beans, a groom and groomsmen in cowboy boots and jeans. Need I say more? from Hearts & Horseshoes Photography

{Rustic Fall Wedding} The prettiest of pretty details include to-die-for rustic florals, gorgeous Jimmy Choo shoes, and, brace yourself, a mash potato martini bar! from ZoomWorks Photography

{Orange & Cobalt California Wedding} Pretty, personal details include endless roses, a brilliant color scheme, a sweet tooth’s dream, and blue goblet tumblers that double as favors! from Hearts & Horseshoes Photography

{Purple & Yellow Rustic Vintage Wedding} A fantastic purple and yellow color scheme, a gigantic cheesecake in lieu of wedding cake, and nods to the couples love story (and proposal) at every turn! from KimJMartin Photography

{Wishing Tree Guestbook Idea} One of my most favorite wedding details of the whole year .. The Wishing Tree! from Two Chics Photography

Le sigh. So many details. So little time. But we love them. We really, really do. And we cannot wait to share yours in the new year! Brides, photographers, vendors too – send us your weddings, details and love stories for feature in 2012!

xoxo